I recently came across an article at The Hardball Times, one that had one of the best post titles ever.
In it, the author posits that most baseball fans have at least one player whom they irrationally despise:
Detesting any player for what he does on the field is irrational. We all know this, but as fans we all feel this way toward one or two individuals whose crime against humanity was nothing more than successfully earning his paycheck while wearing the wrong set of laundry.
Indeed. The author, being a Cubs fan, despises Steve Garvey for what he did to the Cubs in the 1984 NLCS. My pick is Kenny Lofton, whose clownish douchebaggery during Game 1 of the 2002 NLCS lit the fires of my eternal hatred. Allow me to explain:
The 2002 season was a tough one emotionally for Cardinals fans. In the span of one June week, the team lost not only its beloved longtime radio broadcaster in Jack Buck, but also its best pitcher and unofficial team captain in Darryl Kile. So the already hyped-up nature of the postseason was intensified exponentially. At least for me, anyway.
So when Lofton proceeds to channel Jeffrey Leonard by taking a long, sloooooooow trot around the bases after taking Matt Morris deep in the third inning of Game 1, I was incensed. Baseball’s unofficial (and unwritten) code of conduct clearly states that you don’t show up the pitcher (and the pitcher’s team) by hot-dogging after a home run. Lofton’s One Flap Down 2.0 routine certainly qualified. And as such, he should have expected a little something-something (as the kids say) in return during his next at-bat.
Sure enough, when Lofton came to bat again in the fifth, reliever Mike Crudale stuck a high, hard one underneath Lofton’s chin. And when Lofton (over)reacted with all the indignation of the provberbial scorned woman by taking a few steps toward the mound, jawing at Crudale, I became completely unglued. I swore eternal condemnation upon Lofton, pox on his house included. And what began as friendly e-mail trash talk with my Bay-Area-living, Giants-rooting relatives turned nasty. At least for me, anyway.
That seething hatred was further entrenched by the fact that Lofton had the game-winning hit in Game 5 that sent the Giants to the World Series (which they ended up losing, thankfully). And that he continued to kill the Cardinals as a member of other teams, including the loathsome Cubs.
While reading the Hardball Times article dredged up painful memories of Kenny Lofton and angried up the blood, it also got me thinking: Would it be possible to build a Lineup of the Damned, filled top-to-bottom with players whom we love to hate?
Therefore, I put it to you, the Internets: Who is your least favorite player(s), and why? Leave a comment, and I will pencil your player’s name into the Lineup of the Damned. Only one caveat applies: The offense must have occurred on a baseball field. If you’re one of Albert Belle’s former girlfriends, you can’t use the fact that he stalked you and put a GPS tracker in your car.
Feel free to pass this along to your favorite baseball fans; we might even be able to build a 25-Man Roster of the Damned.
C: ???
1B: ???
2B: ???
3B: ???
SS: ???
OF: Kenny Lofton
OF: Alfonso Soriano (Sarah-bug)
OF: ???
DH: ???
P: ???
40 responses so far ↓
Sarah-bug // January 5, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Hi there! Nice blog! I’ve been meaning to leave a comment to thank you for the link, so I’ll do that AND chime in on your project…
It’s weird, ’cause you’d think it would be easy to come up with a few players that you really hate, but it’s definitely harder to do with baseball than, say, football (T.O., Randy Moss, Jeremy Shockey, Tom Brady, Ray Lewis… sorry). Anyway…
I hate Kenny Rogers. I think the words pinetar and world series say it all.
Alfonso Soriano because he’s a show-off (with his little hop before throwing) and a cry-baby. (No booing allowed? Seriously?)
Mike Cameron because he started the whole untucking phenomenon in MIL (which I hate more than anything).
And Alex Rodriguez on principle.
Wow. Maybe it wasn’t so hard.
cardinal70 // January 5, 2009 at 4:41 pm
I remember that Lofton won that series and seemed to be more interested in taunting the Cardinal dugout than celebrating with his teammates. Just lovely.
I’m not sure who to add to your list. AJ Pierzynski seems to have that reputation, but he’s never done anything to me. I might put Jason Marquis on the pitcher side–even though at the beginning of his career in SL I thought he was unfairly maligned, now he can get lit up in Colorado and it won’t bother me a bit.
Sarah-bug // January 5, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Pierzynski’s never done anything to you that you KNOW OF…
Jeff // January 5, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Sarah: If you had to pick one player, whom would it be?
C70: Can I go ahead and add Bipolar Betty as your contribution?
Sarah-bug // January 5, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Fonzie. The hop plus the fact that he’s a Cub (even though they all hate him, too).
Jeff // January 5, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Sweet. Duly noted.
Your former neighbor // January 6, 2009 at 2:56 am
Jose Lima. That punk’s antics during Game 3 of the 2004 NLDS earned him a six-month stint on my dart board.
Jonathan Papelbon. I wanted to punch this tool every time I saw his face during Boston’s 2007 World Series run. Mr. Communist, I may have mentioned this to you once or twice before.
Hee Seop Choi. Why did he hate Scott Rolen’s shoulder so much? Why?
Kenny Rogers. Dirt my ass, cheater.
Ryan // January 6, 2009 at 7:42 am
I thought it was Alex Cintron who demolished Rolen’s shoulder–Choi had the follow up blow? Cintron did it in the playoffs and destroyed the Cards chances . . .
troy // January 6, 2009 at 9:16 am
since you’ll be requiring someone to call the games of this beloved team we are puting together, i thought i’d give you an ump instead. Don Denkinger is the guy!!! you may remember him from game six of the ‘85 world series….ya know…..the ump that blew the call and forced the redbirds to a game seven where they were humiliated. oh, but wait, it got worse!! he then called a perfect pitch a ball (late in the game) which led to a whitey herzog explosion and ejection. to top it off…… after the following pitch he thought a signal from the birds’ pitcher to the catcher was something aimed at him so HE TOSSED THE ONLY PITCHER WE HAD LEFT TO THROW IN THE GAME!!! this is why i feel he is the only ump qualified to call our games.
that brings me to my favorite player. joaquin andujar! i know he lost game three, but he had a great run as a redbird AND he was the pitcher that herzog brought in to that ugly game seven. he also smashed a toilet with a bat following that game in KC. the game NEVER gave up a grand slam yet hit one himself. if that’s not enought to make you a fan of andujar, here are some quotes:
“It wasn’t my arm (that was injured). It was my forearm.”
“My favorite word in English is ‘youneverknow.’”
“That’s why I don’t talk. Because I talk to much.”
“There is one word in America that says it all, and that one word is, ‘You never know.’
“You can’t worry if it’s cold; you can’t worry if it’s hot; you only worry if you get sick. Because then if you don’t get well, you die.”
“How can I play baseball if I’m stupid? If I was stupid I wouldn’t have pitched in the World Series. I’d be playing ball in Mexico or Yugoslavia or on Pluto.”
oh yeah….as far as most hated player…..any cub will do. i’ll go with sosa though…..for his RIDICULOUS hop after contact with the ball (but before it leaves the yard) even when it’s a warning track shot!!!! he then follows up with some type of ritualistic nod to the gods when he gets to the dugout.
burt // January 6, 2009 at 9:19 am
While it will might be tough for any P to beat Brandon Backe or Kenny Rodgers, I nominate Carlos Villanueva for a RP spot.
http://www.stltoday.com/blogzone/bernies-extra-points/bernies-extra-points/2008/08/pujols-stands-up-for-stl/
Also, I really don’t like Brandon Phillips – unfortunately he’s quite awesome.
The Ol Goaler // January 6, 2009 at 9:26 am
I nominate Gary Carter; I just couldn’t STAND the guy, even when he was with the Expos.
If you want a real “reason” for a least-favorite player, Howard Johnson and his corked bats qualify… gotta have some “Pond Scum” Mets on The Team Of The Damned!
Mike // January 6, 2009 at 9:29 am
Carlos Perez, formerly of the Expos and Dodgers. His antics after striking batters out were ridiculous.
Cloister Maximus // January 6, 2009 at 9:31 am
Jason Michaels. In 2008, no other player made me more angry after his flukish series of game winning home runs that ultimately ended in what is known by many cardinals fans as “T.E.S.S.” (Look it up on Viva el Birdos) on 7.12.08. I also just read that the Astros picked him up. All the more reason.
These players aren’t always what we’d normally call MLB caliber players, but just guys that make us so damned mad for their incredible timing.
Honorable mention goes to Miguel Tejada for his smirking walk off homer.
cardinal70 // January 6, 2009 at 10:14 am
Sure. I’d forgotten that nickname.
Alberich // January 6, 2009 at 10:18 am
Daryl.
Not Hee … Cintron.
Matt // January 6, 2009 at 10:33 am
My members of the Kenny Lofton club:
Alex Cintron, for beginning the destruction of Scott Rolen’s career. At least Mr. Choi had a reason for being in the same vicinity as Rolen’s shoulder.
Tony Freakin’ Womack, for his all-around Womack-ness during the 2001 playoffs. Dink, single. Slap, double. Bloop, series-winning hit off Steve Kline. For the first three months he played for the Cardinals, I would close my right eye when they took the field, in a futile denial of his presence on the team.
Speaking of Diamondbacks: Craig Counsell, for that abomination of a batting stance. Just put the bat down son, so no one gets hurt.
Sammy Hippity-Hoppity Sosa.
My rotation: Carlos Zambrano. Brandon Backe. Jose Lima. And going back to the 90’s, Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine, for their infuriating ability to play the umps like a fiddle.
Managing my team would be Dusty Baker. At his side would be bench coach Lloyd McClendon and pitching coach Leo “if the bench is a rockin’ don’t come a-knockin’” Mazzone. STOP. MOVING.
Btown Birds fan // January 6, 2009 at 11:19 am
There are probably better choices, but for catcher I nominate the Cubs back-up catcher, Henry Blanco. He’s got a career OPS+ of 65, but he hits like Mike Piazza against the Cards. From Baseball Reference, his tOPS+ in Busch II and Busch III are 160 and 191, respectively. Villainous!
BacBored // January 6, 2009 at 11:28 am
You mentioned Jeffrey Leonard. I was so incensed at the one flap doodo, and the SF references to a Cow Town that i actually thought it appropriate to sit in the far center field stands and shout “It is better to give the world milk than to give them aids.”
But, really I always hated Bill Buckner, whose arrogance far exceeded his meager talents. He always threw the bat, and the tendency was greatest when he was getting beat. I attended one game in St Louis in which he threw the bat right across the pitcher’s mound twice at Bob Forsch. The second time, Forschie just picked up the bat to toss it back to Buckner. (I wanted him to throw it, at Buckner’s head, but Forsch apparently recognized that a head shot would do no damage.) But, the professional whiner was on his knees, covering his head, almost fetal. Forsch walked in and handed the bat to dingy diaper. Forsch is a much bigger man than either Buckner or I.
Worse, the game ended in the 9th with Buckner driving in the winning run when he was clearly fooled on a low and away slider and actually threw the bat. Ball hit it and bounced about two feet into fair territory. I was so mad, I considered throwing one of my friends over the second deck, but i remembered that he was a friend and only a White Sox fan. The Sox then were regarded as noncombatents.
Others must have felt as I did. We were held up on the top floor of the parking deck and watched an ambulance pull up behind the stadium. On the way home, we heard an announcement that post game, a man from Chicago had fallen from the third deck, under suspicious circumstances. I only wished it had been Buckner.
StLouisSwifties // January 6, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Pete LaCock. Not only for hitting the infamous grand slam off the aged Gibby in ‘75, but also for living up to his last name. I remember attending a game at Busch in the ’70s in which he strutted cockily up and down the 3rd base line during pre-game warmups, occasionally glancing into the seats to see if anyone was beholding his glory. Nearly made me throw up in my mouth.
Wally Backman. Another cocky jerk who never earned the right to be one.
Carlos Zambrano. So many reasons, most of them dating back to ‘04. The antithesis of the term “class act”.
Michael Barrett. For his obvious sense of entitlement in interviews during the ‘04 season. He seemed to feel – like so many misguided Cub fans – that a trip to that year’s world series was a foregone conclusion due to the Northsiders’ near miss in ‘03, and that the Cardinals were a mere inconvenience that would be brushed aside in good time.
Kent Hrbek. For going on Letterman after the ‘87 Series and talking about how the Twinkies – and I quote – “killed the Cardinals.” As I recall, that series went the full 7 games, and the Twins were incapable of winning anywhere but in the Metrodome – for the entire season.
Bill James. Don’t know where to squeeze him in, but I had to give him a dishonorable mention for his anti-Cardinal HOFer bias. I know he feels that when Frank Frisch was on the Old Timers’ Committee he nepotistically voted in several of his old teammates, many of whom James and his ilk deem unworthy. But Bottomley and Hafey? C’mon Bill, they belong. His Sabermetricians are loathe to give Lou Brock his due as well.
Jason // January 6, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I have a few nominations.
Carlos Beltran for his 2004 NLCS.
Kevin Youkilis for his stupid batting stance and temper tantrums after he makes an out.
Matt Vasgersian can be the announcer for his “get back in your el camino and drive back to the ozarks” comment.
giveml // January 6, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Here is a second for Jeffrey “Penitentiary Face” Leonard. I also nominate Dusty Baker to bring out the lineup card for the damned.
Jeff // January 6, 2009 at 12:54 pm
All awesome suggestions, everyone. Thanks for playing. After work, I should be able to update the Lineup of the Damned to reflect today’s submissions.
Jason Mark Anderman // January 6, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Barry Lyons, for breaking the semi-great John Tudor’s leg in 1987 by recklessly flying into the Cards’ while dugout chasing a ball.
Greg // January 6, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Kip Wells for being Kip Wells
Greg // January 6, 2009 at 2:45 pm
And Beltran, -F- You Beltran!
Greg // January 6, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Oh I got it! Oliver Perez for his punkish jumping over the baseline when an inning ended in the 2006 NLCS. Who won the game Oliver!?!?!?
DizzyDean17 // January 6, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Dick Nen
MB // January 6, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Many of the guys mentioned by others didn’t do that much damage to the cardinals, or the cards got the final laugh (jeffery leonard, uribe). But those mid 80s Mets were the worst. Gary Carter took a curtain call for every home run. Gooden, and Straw. At least Pendleton shut them up for a season. On the other hand I do miss the Mets as division rivals.
DizzyDean17 // January 6, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Dick Nen, for his home run and only hit ever as a Dodger that sent game 3 of a crucial 1963 series into extra innings which the Dodgers swept, all but ending the Cards’ hopes for a pennant after winning 19 of 20 to pull to within a game of the Dodgers.
Danny // January 6, 2009 at 5:05 pm
First of all, people who have been nominated so far for series in which they’re team ended up losing should not be included. This is a list of “Cardinal-killers” as I like to call them, as since many of the players so far did not “kill” the Cardinals, only wound them, they should not be included. This includes Kenny Rogers for his World Series antics and Carlos Beltran as well. Remember that in both the 04 and 06 series where the Cards faced Beltran, the Cards were victorious. Moreover, Beltran struck out looking on Wainwright’s vicious cruveball in the 06 series to end it.
Therefore, these are a couple nominees I propose:
C- Michael Barrett (.297, 13 hr, 41 rbi vs. cards)
1B- Derek Lee (.323, 19, 51)
2B- Mark Bellhorn (responsible for the game-winning home run in 2004 WS game 1 in which he hit a two-run shot off Pesky’s Pole)
3B- Chipper Jones (.291, 22, 66, plus he killed us in 96 NLCS)
SS- Edgar Renteria (I loved him while in STL, but he left on poor terms and smashed us while with the Braves)
OF- Kenny Lofton
OF- Andruw Jones (not particularly great against the Cardinals, but the batter who began Rick Ankiel’s demise in 2000 NLDS)
OF- Ryan Braun (.417, 10, 26 in only 103 AB’s, also a future Cardinals-killer)
SP- Tom Glavine (20-6 in regular season vs. Cards plus a complete game shutout in embarrassing game 7 of 96 NLCS)
RP- Tim Worrell (won two close games in 02 NLCS out of the pen)
Hope you enjoy my Lineup of the Damned…let’s hope those still active all retire soon.
Matt // January 6, 2009 at 6:50 pm
No offense Danny, but you’re redefining things here. You’re welcome to do that, but keep in mind the request was not for Cardinal killers, but for our “least favorite player(s)”, and that’s the question most people seem to be answering.
For example, despite his team and his success, I can’t bring myself to hate much on Derek Lee, who seems like a decent guy who Plays The Game Right(tm).
Jeff // January 6, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Wow, so many great responses. Gonna take longer than I thought to sort through them all.
cschutte // January 6, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Is there any possible shortstop to even consider beyond Bucky “Bleepin’” Dent?!
Jim Leyritz is quite a DB, as well.
Jake // January 6, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Juan Encarnacion!
I understand that the man’s career might be over, but that guy has done everything in his power to ruin cardinal baseball. No hustle to speak of, not at all interested in being a fan favorite, and just an overall tool. He has two rings, but has not attended a celebration parade yet. If i saw a ball hit to the right field corner, I would just cringe. Juan had the ability to gun them, but no desire to as he just jogged his way to the ball. While I cannot wish a foul ball to hit anyone at all, if it were any Cardinal, He would be my choice.
Danny // January 6, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Thanks for pointing that out Matt. While I agree there’s a difference between Cardinal-killers and players I hate, I think considering the nature of the thread being purely a Cardinal one, that all those who make the list should have damaged the Cardinals in some capacity. Therefore, while I agree that Derek Lee is an upstanding guy, I hate him for crushing the Cards.
Mimi // January 6, 2009 at 10:29 pm
I can’t believe that no one has mentioned Barry Bonds yet! For just being the forehead growing, personal gear toting, they aren’t worthy of my wonderful self’s time guy that he is. For being a lousy teammate in a quintessential team sport. And for that infuriating cocky way he’d stand at the plate and watch his obviously juiced home run ball get half way out of the park before he took off around the bases.
GibbysRightArm // January 7, 2009 at 2:22 am
Since no one else has an inanimate object on their list, I’ll mention one: the tarp rolling machine from game 4 of the ‘85 NLCS, the one that rolled over Vince Coleman’s leg and put him out for the rest of the playoffs. Yes, Tito Landrum hit well in his place, but as I stated on VEB, I still believe to this day that we would have won the ‘85 WS if Coleman had been playing and running the basepaths, even with Don freakin’ Denkinger out there.
sepurkett // January 7, 2009 at 8:52 am
Can I also suggest Minute Maid Park as the venue I hate most? ‘Cause I do. Hate it. (Yes, I realize it’s what got Jim Edmonds on the list of top 50 catches–twice, even–but that hill is a crime against baseball.) I hate it.
cards4life // January 7, 2009 at 4:26 pm
alex cintron: the first rolen collision broke my heart and the ended the cards playoff hopes.
hee soep choi: 2nd rolen collision, effectively ended rolen’s great offensive abilities.
neifi perez: that awful grandslam in busch staduim off of al reyes.
other notables: jason marquis, esteban yan, pedro borbon jr.
Final count of the collision between us and the Damned « Five O’Clock Blogger // January 10, 2009 at 12:33 am
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